i.am.fat.

i've avoided this blog the same way i've avoided the scale. i lost major LBs for the wedding (down to 138) and since...well i've quickly found them. actually, i've found 11 of them. 149.8 lbs is what i weighed in at today. but that's not the whole truth. i was 154.6 about 3 weeks ago & thanks to lots of exercise and little to no carbs, i am "down" to 149.8. how did i gain almost 13lbs in 4 months you ask? well...stress at work = over snacking, over eating, lack of motivation to exercise. add on to that new puppy, buying a house (so stressful) and winter blues. excuses are like assholes, i know. but those are my excuses and that's what led me to pretty much throw my diet out the window, eat whatever i wanted & forget that i needed to go to the gym to maintain my weight.

now that the dust has settled, we're moved in, the puppy is into more of a routine and work has settled a little bit...i'm ready to focus on my health.

one big reason is that i'd like to get pregnant in the next year or two & i want to be in better shape when that happens.

i don't want to get discouraged that i've only lost 5 lbs in 3 weeks. i know it's good but i just can't believe i'm this weight. i'm 5'2 and i am most comfortable around 130-135lbs. and that just feels so far way.

so...i'm trying. and that's all i can do. my coworker and i have hit the gym every work day for the past few weeks and that includes lunch time spin classes, which i love.

there's only one way to go from here...down.